I know this blog probably isn't going to interest most people that come to this site, but it's a major event for me, so I just had to record it.
On Veterans Day this year my uncle called up to talk. He said he was calling all the Veterans and thanking them for serving in the military. He was drunk and the way he was talking reminded me of my father quite a bit. This particular uncle, on my mother's side of the family, works at the same place as my father and they are apparently friends, or at least talk quite often. He mentioned how my father couldn't stand how "his kids couldn't give a s**t about him." Well, it got me thinking that maybe it was time to try to rebuild the father-son relationship that has been missing but I didn't know how to start because I had tried talking to him over the phone a while back and it didn't seem to go anywhere.
I remembered last year (or maybe it was the year before) how I got a phone call from my father on my son's birthday. We were having a party that day and he didn't seem to have any problem interrupting the party with his phone call, practically demanding my assistance over the phone about some stupid DVD player that he had. Even after reminding him that it was my son's birthday and we were having a party right then, he would not let up and didn't even bother to wish my son a happy birthday. From that situation I decided that I'd really rather not talk to him over the phone, but I hadn't considered writing a letter until after these events, the phone call, and the speech, combined with the upcoming birthday of my daughter, started swirling around in my brain.
So I wrote a letter. It was written on one piece of lined paper, front and back, and I included two or three photos of my kids. I did not address him in the letter by any name whatsoever, neither as Dad nor his first name. I didn't want to start off with an improper level of respect and both of those options seemed wrong. So my letter just started. I talked about various things and made sure to mention that I was including photos of my kids and when their birthdays were. So I watched the mail, waiting to see if he would try to rekindle the relationship and send a birthday card to my daughter. I kept checking and hoping that he would attempt to notice my children.
Today was a busy day, so I didn't get around to checking the mail when I usually do. Everyone was already in bed when I checked the mail and discovered a letter back from my father. It was a nice casual letter starting off with him thanking me for the letter and the photos. It was a single piece of paper, filled front and back, and even some in the margins, ending with a note that "there's so much more to say." Indeed there is. I still can't believe how happy that I was to get this letter, even before I opened it, but even more so after reading it. He even wished my daughter a happy birthday and apologized for not getting a birthday card out to her.
Maybe, even in this age of high technology connecting people instantly across the world, the best way that I can have a relationship with my father just might be through a nearly lost art of handwritten letters through the mail.
