My sister-in-law sent me this collection of computer programming related humor.
Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips."
My pokemon brings all the nerds to the yard, and they're like you wanna trade cards? Darn right, I wanna trade cards, I'll trade this but not my charizard.
There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0
I'm not anti-social; I'm just not user friendly
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty: it's twice as big as it needs to be.
I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code
When Life Gives You Questions, Google has Answers
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
People say that if you play Microsoft CD's backwards, you hear satanic things, but that's nothing, because if you play them forwards, they install Windows.
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
The box said 'Requires Windows 95 or better'. So I installed LINUX
Roses are #FF0000
Violets are #0000FF
All my base
Are belong to you
Passwords are like underwear. You shouldn???t leave them out where people can see them. You should change them regularly. And you shouldn???t loan them out to strangers.
------Jocks vs Nerds----
Michael Jordan having "retired," with $40 million in endorsements, makes $178,100 a day, working or not.
If he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head.
If he goes to see a movie, it'll cost him $7.00, but he'll make $18,550 while he's there.
If he decides to have a 5-minute egg, he'll make $618 while boiling it.
He makes $7,415/hr more than minimum wage.
He'll make $3,710 while watching each episode of Friends.
If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90,000) it would take him a whole 12 hours.
If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $2.00 every second.
He'll probably pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, but will be reimbursed $33,390 for that round.
Assuming he puts the federal maximum of 15% of his income into a tax deferred account (401k), his contributions will hit the federal cap of $9500 at 8:30 a.m. on January 1st.
If you were given a penny for every 10 dollars he made, you'd be living comfortably at $65,000 a year.
He'll make about $19.60 while watching the 100 meter dash in the Olympics, and about $15,600 during the Boston Marathon.
While the common person is spending about $20 for a meal in his trendy Chicago restaurant, he'll pull in about $5600.
This year, he'll make more than twice as much as all U.S. past presidents for all of their terms combined. Amazing isn't it?
However...
If Jordan saves 100% of his income for the next 450 years, he'll still have less than Bill Gates has today.
$$$ Game over. Nerd wins.
